Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Ding Dong

Yesterday, I look outside and see traveling salesmen (more like teenage boys) making their way down the street. Since I haven't figured out how to get on the "Do not call" list, I always answer the door. Its very awkward because I don't want to buy what they are selling, they definitely want me to buy what they are selling.....you've been there.

So, I decide to try a new approach: We're not home?

I asked Madeline to close the blinds on both sides of the front door and not to answer the door when the doorbell rings. Of course this starts a barrage of questions.....Why aren't we answering the door? Who's coming over? (or not coming over) Why do we need to be quiet?

"I will explain it in a few minutes" (my arms are full of laundry)

I head upstairs to Gabriel's room and sure enough the doorbell rings a couple minutes later. I don't hear anything from the kids and I am relieved. This is much easier than I anticipated. Why, why have I answered the door all these years???
Ok, I need to stop here and apologize to anyone who has children that have to sell popcorn, magazines, gift wrap paper, encyclopedias, greeting cards, discount cards, coupon books and just about anything else they can think of for children to peddle door-to-door. I am not a fan.
Have your children call me, snail mail me or hit me up at church. I'm a real sucker then.
The one and only exception? Girl Scouts. They definitely have a hall pass -- who doesn't want 14 boxes of Girl Scout cookies?!?
A quick tip: Hit my neighbor Mark up - he will buy anything. (You’re the best Mark!)
Back to my story. I am almost laughing (so mean) and thinking how great it is that I have outsmarted the traveling salesmen/boys. That's when I hear the window blinds making a lot of noise.....like a hurricane is blowing through. I peek over the railing and....yes, its that bad.
I see Abigail holding Gabriel in one of the windows and Madeline and Lauren peering out of the other window. They are literally flanking each side of the front door, faces pressed up against the window, WAVING at the salespeople on the front porch. Oh, and did I mention a good FOUR minutes has passed since the bell rang? Oh yeah.

Now what do I do? Run to the door, seemingly out of breath, and pretend I was just able to get there?
Open the door and say, "Oh my, you should have rung the bell?"

NOOOOOOO! I whisper in my loudest and most authoritative voice, "Children, get away from the windows!" "Quickly, come upstairs!" "No questions!"

I watch from the window upstairs as they finally walk away. Phew!
I am left feeling horrified, embarrassed and cheap. Should have just spent the $20 for the discount coupon book.